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From Fight to Thrive -- Personal Example

A couple years ago I was going through some things with my wife. I was sitting in the cafeteria at the facility where I was working at the time. I was having my "pancake time", reading information to help me prepare for group attempting to repress feelings that were carrying over from the weekend as my wife had stayed out from Friday to Sunday. I was angry. I was reading something that told me I did not have to be angry...that I could choose to look at things differently and that I would feel differently.
I told myself, "you should be angry". The next thought was, "who told you that you should be angry.?" I reframed my perception and thought...well maybe she stayed out to protect me. Maybe she stayed out because she was afraid to tell me what she was going through. By the time I looked at things from a different perspective, my feelings had changed. The section in the book that I was reading asked me to choose between feeling angry or what I was feeling as a result of looking at things differently. Naturally, I chose to be content and at peace. It did not matter, what the reality of the situation was. What mattered was my perception. I changed my perception and changed my feelings. I went on to conduct a great psycho-educational group on the link between thoughts and feelings.
- George Davis Jr. CADC

This submission describes the best results from cognitive behavioral intervention on one's emotional state. From a "Survive or Thrive" perspective it measures the space between being stuck in the Fight survival network and leaving that space to enter the Thrive system. I find it interesting that George said "Naturally I chose to be content and at peace." When people are really stuck in a survival network the "natural" thing all too often is to stay miserable and even to look for more things to add to one's misery. (Ronald Potter-Efron)
Please send your comments on this article to Ron at www.potter-efron.net